Sales is a tough business.  By tough I don't just mean "eat what you hunt" difficulty in the sense that you don't get the weekly paycheque.  That's actually a good thing.  Having to go out and not knowing where you're next paycheque is coming from really lights a fire in a persons ass and makes that person fully accountable.  No more just punching in the clock to collect a wage.  Unions were helpful in the past but I think that they've become too large and terrible for peoples mindset.  There's no rewarding good work and just like we're seeing with our kids receiving participation trophies, this is leading to a lot of problems. But I digress...

By tough I'm referring the area that most don't really mention.  People.  Just like in the Wizard of Oz, sales gives us a peek behind the curtain of peoples lives and what we end up seeing most of the time isn't great.  People are all great and nice until you get to really know them.  I remember starting at a few new jobs, or even joining different clubs and thinking these are all nice and great friendly people.  Months go by and slowly that inevitably begins change.  Everyone has a different mask for each interaction.  I'm no different.  I'm really a bunch of different people depending whom I'm around.  With my parents, I'm their guardian, "babysitter" and handle everything for them.  I talk with a louder more certain tone and they probably view me as being difficult and certain.  Whereas with co-workers I'm more reserved and quite.  They probably view me as a snob, focused, quiet and uncertain and not approachable.  When I step back I don't think that I'm 100% any of these but naturally a mix of all those qualities.  I think a lot of this has to do with hoping to be liked by others.  Which reflecting back really has the opposite effect.  I try not to rock the boat with others and want to be accepted and liked and tend to stay quiet.  I don't really put myself out there, which ends up having the opposite effect.  People stay distant and my desire for close friendships doesn't happen.  Isn't that messed up?

Our job in sales is based on meeting people and building relationships with them.  I started out in accounting and this was an appealing new career in sales that I hoped would make me more social and get me out of my comfort zone.  Which it did.  The downside is that you build "friendships" and open up and get disappointed when you find out that they bought or sold with someone else.  It hurts with strangers but its devastating when longtime friends and family do it.  It feels like a betrayal and over time really eats at you.  Makes you hate people and become confused as to why people do the things they do.  It's hard knowing that you really want to help and do a good job only to find out that they went with another person.  What I've come to realize is that people are emotional.  They act emotionally and then justify their decisions logically.  To the outsider, their decisions, make no sense but beneath it all there is a reason.  

Ultimately it comes down to the individuals expectations.  That's the bar for happiness.  The higher your expectations on how things or people should be the higher the chance of being disappointed and unhappy with things.  If you expect to be at a great job, or have so much money and you don't then you're likely to be unhappy.  So what's the best way through this?  For me it's been both by reframing and gratitude.  It's amazing at how powerful just gratitude on its on is.  Something as simple as taking a warm shower and thinking about how the majority of the people on the planet don't get to take one.  Or even in terms of hunger.  Never worrying about my next meal.  What a blessing that is.